On the heaviness of weight[credits]
by Anja Heij
Mother goddesses of ancient cultures often are voluptuous figures with pronounced breasts
and thighs. A successful nowadays paintress fills her canvasses with sensuous, joyful and overweight ladies, and everyone
I’ve showed her pictures becomes happy and starts smiling. To this paintress big women symbolize feminine power and
lust for life. In some cultures fat bodies are regarded as beautiful, for instance on the Antillian islands. A friend told
me of a huge feast on Curacao
where the women would vote for the most handsome man on the island; they decided that the super fattest one was the prince
of their dreams.
Am I advocating for physical overweight? No, absolutely not. Human bones and organs
are not made to carry around and maintain heavy bodies. Statistically seen, slightly underweight persons are in better health
and live longer than the average person. But I would like to say something on the hype on being slim.
Many of us live in a society in which a thin figure is a social must, and wherein so
many people fight themselves daily with diets, pills, and strict exercise schemes to lose some kiloes in order to feel attractive
or approved. The last three words are very important. We are taught that when we possess the ideal weight the world will lay
at our feet, for partners would select us by appearance. As far as I know partners choose you on radiance, impression and
matching pheromones, far more than on how (fat or thin) you are. A thin lady of perfect weight may be judged a cold one, while
a cheerful rubinesc woman is found sexy. A handsome guy may be considered superficial because of lack of intellectual content,
and a bit overweight man could have very interesting ideas. The final thing is not if we have the ideal look, but if we can
connect in a happy way by offering the other one something of value.
Attraction is an internal thing you cannot buy. It is inner contentment, peace, approval,
happiness, self-worth, self-love, inner strength,or whatever other word you like to apply for it,
projected outwards. In plain words: you send out “I feel good, I enjoy myself and this world” and the other one
picks up your message. Many people almost spontaneously lose overweight when they feel good, attractive and sexy. And because
they feel good, they change their eating habits and life style in a supportive way; it’s not the other way around. One
woman lost two clothing sizes in half a year time when she became happy in a new relationship, while all her dieting efforts
before did not result in lasting effects. And when she lost this important love, she gained all this weight again. I treat
a young woman with beautiful fine facial features, who has great difficulty with some extra kiloes around her waist. She dared
not to go to a swimmingpool, for someone might see her body before she jumped into the water. I gave her remedies and she
changed her attitude. One night in a bar she was dancing and enjoying herself, forgetting all that was ‘wrong’
about her. She met a nice man, who asked her out for a day on the beach, on which she – to everyone’s surprise
- agreed. Right now a precious relationship is building up, and I’m sure she will lose her extra pounds without much
Please forget the calory-story; it doesn’t work. Weight is a highly psychological
thing. Grief often expresses itself as extra weight. Emotions are symbolized by the water-element; therefore holding on to
past memories may physically express in extra pounds because of storing moist in the body. Some extra kiloes can form a psychological
wall for protection against hurt of any kind. It may symbolize “stay at a distance, I need more space for myself or
I want to be alone.” It may represent passive rebellion against a situation you’re not happy with but feel unable
to change. It could express your own feelings of being unattractive. Or people choose a big and impressive body as compensation
for feeling psychologically small or belittled. Overweight may also symbolize intense and superfluous enjoyment of life –
but those people you will not find standing on a scale.
So your amount of kiloes communicates something, and this message is not simply dismissed
by dietpills, not even by fasting. I know of a woman who took a severe fasting cure to lose weight, only to notice that she
did not lose one ounce that whole week.
As always you will have to start in the mind. Find out what the particular message
of your body is. Listen carefully to your thoughts about yourself and decide if you still agree with these beliefs and patterns.
Many overweight persons constantly affirm “I am fat”, which definitely is the wrong affirmation if you wish to
lose kiloes. Be nice to yourself; look after attractive parts of your body and personality and use these as a base to start
finding yourself an interesting and attractive person. Next feel and act like this wonderful person
you wish to be. Create a positive affirmation, like “I am becoming more loving and beautiful each day” or “I
am a beautiful God/Goddess”, and visualize yourself in the desired situation. When your attitude towards yourself becomes
more positive, you’ll notice that you will treat your body with more attention and respect. You will nurture it with
healthier food, drink more water, take enough rest and spend time exercising. May your spirit create the new body you have
decided for yourself.